The Embassy Wife

Food is NOT an Issue?!

The embassy wife — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 16:49:31 GMT

What do you mean it’s not an issue? How can food NOT be an issue? For seven years, since my middle son was born, food has been The Only Issue of any Importance in our home. For nearly six of those seven years, every meal we ate together in our home ended with someone screaming or crying or falling on the floor wailing. Sometimes all three at once, and sometimes it was me.

There are two children in our home who have serious food intolerances: no wheat, no milk for the two youngest. And it took us nearly six years to figure this out with the middle one, so for nearly six years, he was in constant pain and misery, felt poisoned most of the time, was borderline malnourished, and generally hated food (hence, the mealtime screaming).

In fact, although his health has improved, Timothy still hates food. It brings him no pleasure (unless it’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich), and is something to be struggled through in the most minute quantities possible, fighting a gag reflex most of the time, just so mom will get off his case. Sometimes the struggle against the gag reflex is a losing one; I can’t even count the number of meals that have ended with me getting barfed on.

So, yes, food IS an issue. A big one.

I finally came to my senses, however, and realized that it is an issue that doesn’t seem to be going away on its own, and I decided to take action. So I made an appointment with a speech therapist.

Sounded strange to me, too, but we had used a speech therapist when Timothy was seven months old and needed to be taught to eat from a spoon with out throwing up. (I told you food was an Issue.) I expected the therapist to hear me out and tell me I needed to go somewhere else.

Imagine my drop-jaw astonishment when, after I ran through Timothy’s history, she smiled kindly and said, “This is not a big issue. I know exactly what the problem is and I know exactly how to fix it. No problem. I work with these types of children all the time.”

“Uhnhgh??!” Was my intelligent reply.

She went on to explain that she would do an evaluation to learn what types of flavors, textures, temperatures etc. on which part of the tongue stimulated Timothy’s gag reflex, and once she had that information, it would be a very straightforward process to design a treatment, and she expected that within a matter of a few short months at most, Timothy could be completely reformed.

“Uhnhgh?!!” Was still all I could muster.

In fact, that’s been all I could muster for the last week or so. I took Timothy to the initial evaluation appointment on Friday and spoke with the therapist afterwards, and she was still quite positive that Timothy was an excellent candidate for ‘curing.’

For his part, Timothy loves the appointments because he gets out of school for an hour and a half and gets a lollipop at the end. Little does he know that the lollipop itself is part of the treatment!

So, I’ve been burbling with joy for the past several days. It seems that there really may be light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t an oncoming train. Maybe food really ISN’T an issue!

What Do You Mean It's All Gone??!

The embassy wife — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 09:40:54 GMT

Last night was taco night, mostly because I wasn't sure how else to start getting rid of the 4.5 lbs of leftovers of what had been a 5 lb pork roast.

So, I shredded the meat, mixed in a packet of taco seasoning, chopped up the fixin's and set it out on the table. Without much hope, really. Tacos are never more than half-popular (which means only 2 children scream) at our house.

Well, we did have a little screamy episode when we insisted the 3-year-old try the meat. And then once he did, he couldn't get it down fast enough. The six-year-old (the Major Picky) had SECONDS!

My teeth are on the floor at this point. Which wasn't a good thing, because while I was picking them up, someone ate the rest of the taco meat.

What?

But they didn't stop there. They also ate all the tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and cheese. And taco shells. We had to break out a bag of chips and grate some cheese (OK in moderation for our milk-intolerant kids) for some impromptu nachos because people (read: children) were still eating!

But that ain't all: I got tired of looking for more food before they stopped eating!!

If you had told me this time last year that I would serve a meal that (a) everyone would like; (b) everyone would eat; and (c) I would actually RUN OUT of food, well, I would have laughed maniacally and told you to go soak your head.

Because this time last year every meal we ate was still ending with someone screaming, and, occasionally, someone barfing. Usually on me.

This time last year was before we discovered that our middle one is intolerant to BOTH wheat and milk. Here's the difference that knowledge (and changing his diet) has made: over the past year he's grown about 2 inches and put on 7 lbs; he LOOKS healthy; he ACTS healthy (i.e. runs, laughs, and plays); and he has voluntarily tried SALMON. And he'll now eat pineapple and strawberries, and he doesn't ever barf anymore, even when we ask him to eat a bite of green beans!

Wow. My teeth are on the floor again just thinking about it.

But I'm scared to pick them up; someone might eat everything off my plate!

What Makes a Good Shopping Trip for You??

The embassy wife — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 11:37:21 GMT

I was just reading one of tammystips posts about the price of canned goods, and that reminded me that I'd had a wonderful "shopping week."

For one thing, I found canned vegetables. For only $1.60 per can. Is that a good price? For me it is! Frozen vegetable choices here are: corn, mixed vegetables, peas, and asparagus. That's it. Oh, and on a good week, spinach. This week wasn't THAT good.

There are, of course, an AMAZING variety of fruits and vegetables here. The only problem is, I have no idea what most of them are. "Do you peel it? Is it poisonous if you don't cook it? What is that interesting smell?" are some questions I routinely ask myself in the vegetable section. I buy a lot of apples. I also almost always buy something I have no idea what it is. Sometimes these forays into the unknown are a success. Sometimes they are not. The cocoa pod was a success: we roasted the seeds. I LOVED it. I don't know what that thing was that no one liked, but we threw it away.

Anyway, this week I found canned green beans, beets AND spinach. Woo hoo!

But wait, there's more! The store also carried: creamy peanut butter AND American hot dogs AND cheddar cheese!!

Double woo hoo, since for the past couple of weeks those things have been nowhere in sight and they form the bulk of the protein selections my Pickies will eat.

And here's the best news of all: my husband discovered a source of CHEETOS. CHEETOS!!!! I haven't had regular access to Cheetos since we lived in Israel. And those were kosher, and you just really haven't lived until you've tasted kosher Cheetos. And then you want to die.

Not only that, these Cheetos only cost $1.00 per bag! Which we just can't figure out because Doritos cost $4-$5 per bag here. Weird.

But in any event, you can see from this list of Very American food that we are living high on the hog. Costa Rica has an amazing selection of American goodies, and, frankly, after 15 years without regular access to cheddar cheese and soda crackers, I *love* it! Of course, there are all those new and interesting things to sample as well, and we do, but sometimes without much success. It's so great to have something familiar to fall back on!

And besides, the "familiar" is stuff my kids will eat, meaning: Less Screaming!!

Woo hoo!!

The Manners Game

The embassy wife — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:10:50 GMT

I think I have mentioned before that my children have atrocious table manners. Partly this is because for years every meal we ate together ended in screaming. I guess when you're two and in that much pain because of food, screaming is an appropriate recourse.

However, it does make it difficult to reinforce basic things like "Use your fork, not your fingers; use your napkin, not your shirt." For one thing, no one could hear my little mantra. For another, no one cared: the screaming was too loud. And sometimes it was the Mom who was doing the crying!

So, fast forward to now: Timothy (the erstwhile baby) is six now, has finally reached the weight milestone of THIRTY-EIGHT WHOLE POUNDS!! (yes, that's tiny for a six-year-old. His three-year-old brother, who is not hefty, weighs 36 lbs); we have happy suppers on a semi-regular basis; and the Pickies are branching out wildly, even going so far as to try mangoes AND eat salmon unprompted....

(Sorry for the interruption there, I had to pick myself up off the floor. It knocks me over every time I think of Timothy eating salmon!)

But, my children still have atrocious table manners; Neanderthals would comment negatively on their table manners. So, I've designed a fun little game they BEG me to play, and it actually, really helps:

If Mom catches you doing ANYTHING you shouldn't be doing at the table (from picking your nose to holding your fork like a club), you have to put your hand on your head (not the one that's holding your silverware; I want them to keep eating).

If you point out someone else's mistakes: hand goes on your head.

There's an easy way to get your hand back: notice someone else practicing good manners and say what they're doing ("Dad used his napkin!" "Jonathan is holding his fork correctly!")

That's it. It actually works. I don't know why, but it works.

Some nights there's just too much silliness at the table to play; some of those nights, I send the main offender off to sit by himself in another room for 2 minutes. Sometimes, I don't push it. My new mantra is: babysteps.

We Had a Happy Supper!

The embassy wife — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 21:46:56 GMT

Huge milestone here: Last night we ate supper together, and everyone was happy THE WHOLE TIME! The middle one even tried TWO bites of spinach with no screaming and did NOT throw up!

Maybe in your family you are actually aiming for things at your dinner table like: No blowing your nose on your shirtsleeve; Emily Post-ian manners; and well-behaved children.

We're not there yet. I think it's a successful evening if no one barfs, if no one screams, if no one flings himself out of his chair onto the floor crying and screaming "No, no, I don't want noodles!"

You can see my goals are not terribly high. You would be surprised by how often they go unmet.

But last night, Whoa! I was blown away when I realized by the end of supper I'd only heard a single brief and largely insincere, "I don't want this." (To which I, of course, calmly replied, "Be hungry.")

And after that it was all fun and games and we were actually able to talk to each other and every single one of us LAUGHED!! at some point during the meal! Especially when the three year old got a bit tongue tied and started speaking in tongues when requesting a second helping of meatloaf. (Second helping? Meatloaf? Is this MY family???)

Meatloaf, french fries, spinach, and apples: not the menu you would think would work miracles in my kitchen. But it did. Was it the meatloaf? Or something else?

Whatever. I'm not taking any chances: we're having meatloaf again Real Soon.

Food is an Issue

The embassy wife — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 11:32:10 GMT

Food is a HUGE issue at our house. It took us 6 painful weeks to realize my youngest is violently intolerant to wheat, nearly 3 years to realize he's intolerant to milk, and nearly SIX years to realize that our middle son is intolerant to both wheat and milk.

We do not have happy associations with food in our home. We scream a lot about food in our home, but not as much as we used to. For years, I was deaf in my left ear (the side I carry kids on) because of all the screaming, now understood to be about being in pain because of food.

So, we have 'adventures' with food in our house. Screaming, crying, running away, occasionally barfing (although that's becoming less frequent, hallelujah!). But slowly we are learning to like things besides peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. In fact, both of my Pickies (who are the Intolerant Ones) will now eat pineapple! I can tell you there was a time (years, in fact) I didn't think we'd ever graduate from bananas! This is huge! I skip and dance whenever I think of it!

Interesting things still occasionally crop up, and I still learn new things (like muffins made with non-dairy creamer are better than muffins made with rice milk, but in either case, you have to add an extra egg).

My dream is that some day, dinner together will be the fun, happy, sharing, family-coming-together time that I remember from my childhood & still see on re-runs of Leave it to Beaver.

But for now, each day we get through a meal and everyone isn't crying at the end, I think is a pretty good day!

The Ultimate No-Confidence Vote

The embassy wife — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 10:58:34 GMT

I hate to cook. So, of course, I end up with two kids who need special diets: no wheat, no milk. And, of course, those two kids redefine the word “picky eater.” The middle one has been known to throw up (I’ll spare you more details) if he gets something unfamiliar in his mouth; say, a green bean. And there is always screaming at dinner. Always. Whoever said that eating supper together as a family is a bonding experience never ate dinner with us.

Anyway, for wheat, we can substitute spelt (also known as dinkel or faro); no problem. It cooks almost exactly like wheat, and since we don’t have a problem with gluten, I’ve learned to make a fantastic loaf of bread. The Pickies even eat the crusts.

For milk, I’ve found lots of work arounds: rice milk, soy milk, oat milk (etc.); soy based baby formula; I’ve even successfully used non-dairy creamer in lots of baked goods. Not healthy, but really delicious.

But what to do about cheese? In my view, a life without cheese is just not worth living. And we’ve been without cheese for a long time.

Finally, I got tired of it, and they got tired of it, and so I gave them a tiny bit of cheese. No reaction. So I gave them some more. No reaction. So I gave them a lot more and then we had gobs of it six meals in a row. Still no reaction!!

Are they cured? Have they grown out of it? Can they have cheese now?!! I am starting to get excited.

Then, last night, I finally cooked something that EVERYONE at my house ate, and for the first time in almost living memory there was no screaming at supper – the oldest had fourths, the husband and I both had seconds, and the two Mr. Pickies both ate a decent serving. And them eating a decent serving of anything is cause for a ticker tape parade. What was this magical dish? Lasagna: spelt noodles (no problem), jarred spaghetti sauce (no problem), mozzarella cheese (still no problem), cottage cheese (Very Big Problem).

We will not be having lasagna again. Ever. I have burned this recipe. Apparently, cottage cheese is a no go at this station: The middle one was completely broken out all over his face this morning. He looked like he had the pox (classic reaction).

But it was the little one who really decided the issue: he woke in the middle of the night scratching his legs furiously (eczema outbreak) and then proceeded to “recycle” dinner.

Sigh. So, we’re back to no cheese (for a while) and probably a good solid week or two of screaming at dinner.

I’ve got some extra cottage cheese in my fridge. Would you trade me for some earplugs?