Hitting the Wall

It's an open secret of anyone who's ever lived overseas for any length of time:  you can just expect to be plunged into some variety of depression shortly after arriving at your new home.  Every expat book you will ever read will tell you this.  I will tell you this:  after every single one of our six international moves (or is it seven?), it's happened.  Life will trot along beautifully for a while (6 hours, 6 days, 6 weeks, there's really no telling how long it will take) until, all of a sudden, WHAMMO!!!  You're in a grocery store (or department store or car or lost.... take your pick) and all of a sudden it hits you:  I HAVE ACTUALLY LEFT EARTH AND AM ON ANOTHER PLANET AND THERE IS NO CHEDDAR CHEESE HERE!!!  HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE???

Sometimes these little episodes end in tears and weeks of depression.  Sometimes they end in screaming rants and weeks of depression.  And sometimes they end in silently creeping back out to your car, leaving a full basket of groceries sitting in the middle of the aisle of toilet paper.  And weeks of depression.

The good thing is, I always know it's coming.  And I always know it will end.

The bad thing is, it always surprises me.  Every single time it surprises me.  And every single time I can't figure out why I'm sitting in an armchair in a darkened room, staring at the wall for hours and feeling gloomy, for weeks on end.  And every single time I can't figure out why my kids are grumpy and screaming and hate everything and just want to go back to the place they just left.

The first indication I had here that we had all hit the wall was a call from my oldest's teacher every week for the first several weeks of school.  He's not paying attention; he's reading in class (oh, horrors!); he doesn't want to participate; he doesn't play with any other kids.....  And at home we weren't much better:  withdrawn, grumpy, nothing sounds fun....  Depression is miserable!

But it's starting to pass off now.  A bit.  I sometimes hear about cheerful things that happened at school; I haven't had a phone call in almost 2 weeks; and the sound of laughter tends to float down from the kids' rooms more often than screaming and fighting.  Pretty soon, I know, something will happen and I'll realize "We are on planet Earth after all; this is home!" and the kids will be 'at home' too and there will be playdates and friends and we'll be so sad to leave some day.

So, if you've just moved -- internationally or not, I don't think it really matters -- my heart goes out to you!  Hang in there -- Earth is on its way back to you!